I regularly find myself sitting down and realizing how tense my body is. As soon as I become conscious about it, the tension starts to fall away. There is still some deep internal stress about life in me, but on the "surface" I now feel more relaxed than ever before. My mind isn´t buzzing with problems and stress about my future nor my past. My perception of time has shifted.
People always say that living in the moment is the thing, but I have only been able to do than momentarily. It has been an exception to the rule, but now I find it the other way round. I find it very hard to focus and live not-in-the-moment these days. The moments and days seem longer, for there is more in each moment that I live in. Tomorrow seems so far away and irrelevant. The same goes for my past. In this moment my mind can relax, and even though living in the moment causes occasional hazards I´m happy with the way things are.
My life is still made of the same blocks as it used to, but now they have changed their places. Same glasses on but I look through from the other side.
I am not to be hunted down by those hundreds of trivial to do -tasks people try to keep pushing me about. The world is not crashing down even if I do things on my own pace.
When the things you stress about become irrelevant, stress itself becomes irrelevant. I trust in my life so I have no need to be in control of it. In a way, "I" have become irrelevant. I don´t mind.
I really don´t mind.
No comments:
Post a Comment