Battle - no battle, and the bad laws of the society

There is a wild battle in my life at the moment. I am leaving my everyday job a week from now without a plan for the upcoming months. Or rather the plan is something that the society doesn´t approve that easily as a plan. I´m going to take it easy, draw my attention inside of myself and find out what it is that I want to do with my life. It is not providing an instant profit to the society, so it is perceived a little weird... but then again, so many people have come to me and said that they would really love to do it themselves.

So, this dialogue between being a productive member of the society and following my own guidance, is also a dialogue I´m having on my mind. With a little help I got, I realized that there is a spiritual pattern in here:

when there is struggle between two aspects within me (and that happens so often!), the key is NOT to let the battle begin and announce a winner with the loser drawing out of sight. The key is to mix and match the two aspects in order to create a whole new perspective. Often there are aspects in both sides that are essential to the final freedom of the subject, but both sides also include some ideas that are holding me back. Going through the process of accepting both perspectives and letting the merge happen, it is possible to let the unnecessary burden be freed and create something completely new.

This approach I seems to forget so often. And it´s a shame, because letting the battle unleash creates lots of unnecessary struggle and suffering. Pushing any ideas or feelings out of sight, is a temporary solution that with time will bounce back. The come back process may then be so strong that it will create chaos and a crisis to one´s life.

So, the first thing that I´m going to do with the time released from office hours, is to find the balance inside of me. Then, create as much space as possible for my inner guidance. If there is something that I´ve learn of late, it is that true meaning and results spring from an inner drive to do things. It can not be reasoned or manipulated. One can fake it for some time, but the results will never be bountiful.

So.... what is it that drives me? I am desperate to find out!