The voice, the work and the 24/7 adventure

I have been spending the holiday for the past four weeks and kept myself in a distance from the computer, mobile phone and thus also this blog. This is my first day "back to daily routines" and here I am, writing a new post for you.

During the retreat and more interestingly after it, I have been experimenting with my voice. My voice has a new deeper sound to it, at least to my own inner ear. And it seems that I have started using my voice as a mean to self-expression and clearing my body. It is very interesting. I am not the only person having the same thing, so it´s interesting to see where this will go or is it going anywhere. I have also become less fearful of playing music and singing/making sounds, which is quite huge for me. In a nutshell: I have a thing going on with voice and sound.

I am back to my daily routines means that I´m back to work. Sitting here in the office makes me feel empty. I´m an quite excited about ideas of changing my career and going to study again. But where to change into? I get these ideas, but none of them seem to be available at the moment. I guess I need to be patient with that. But working in the current place seems meaningless to me. Even when the company promotes some values I support, there focus on making money and additional values within the company makes me sick. I have tried to find an alternative for 2 years now and still haven´t found... I´m starting to get worried now. I really can´t waste my life like this. A little help from the universe would be very much appreciated now! Well, actually a lot of help... please? I need it! Now!

Whereas before I have felt that my mental and spiritual development was a little like a hobby, now it feels like it has become my life mission at this point. It is THE most important thing in my life right now. Parallel to that it seems that my life has become a 24/7 retreat. What is means is that instead of taking 7 days time to focus primarily on my development in a closed environment, my life has become in all its aspects the environment for the retreat that may never end for me. Before I could go on with my daily routines even when I felt the urge to do something else. Now I´m on the threshold realizing that I can not ignore those needs anymore. E.g. for several nights now I haven´t been able to fall asleep before I have cleared my body and done some inner guidance energy/body work. After that, no problem. Without it, no hope for falling asleep. And there are many more similar things happening now.

So... life. Here we go again!