Changes. One can not live without them so better just live with them.
As I expected, the high and mighty phase went past and I am sort of back to normal again. I have changed, of course, but the bliss never lasts. It feel like I have achieved a new level in a game. There is now the possibility to use new skill when I want to. It´s not on all the time, but I can pop in there and then come out of it again. It´s like what I did (and still actually do) with the no-mind state. I go there sometimes just to get a break and relax. It gives perspective.
I have been liberating myself from egoistic attachments. Okay, that sounds a bit freakish but couldn´t come up with any other description for it. I have been trying to follow the correlation between my mental and physical state and well being. What I have discovered is that once my identity steps in, it feels like a huge massive rock is put on to my body. It´s reeeeallly heavy. And that is weight that I carry on me more or less all day long. What I have noticed is that thinking thoughts with an attached agenda I start feeling stuffed and heavy. And when I let go of things, I feel more open and free. It is very simple.
I am quite surprised how I haven´t noticed that weight before. And it feels that my only agenda at the moment is to get rid of that weight. Not let it stick to me and my body. It´s so easy to hold on to thoughts.
The beauty of life is that you can not control it. You have absolutely no hold of it, no matter how hard you try. What you can do is to enjoy the ride and rest in the moments. This is what I´m now trying to really understand. But the trick is not to try something... you have to let go of what is preventing it from happening, really.
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