The "I" in the eye

Inspired by a newsletter I received this morning, I found myself wondering yet another paradox in relation to experiencing emotions and your self-image.

I have learned now that I am capable of deep deep emotions. Something I never thought I would be in such depth. Now it feels like there was a veil between me and the world before. Is feeling experiencing? In my life it was always me who was so unattached that I left behind so many people, placed and lifestyles that I could bet some people found  me cold and rude. The moment they didn´t feel right anymore, I moved on.

But the question is that what is the value of such deep deep emotions? I understand that capability to feel deep is considered a sign that there are no fenced within you left to block your feelings. But emotions as such, and feeling super-duper-deep...? What is it good for, really? I don´t know.

Now let´s connect these emotions with the "I".

It has been said that emotions themselves are good and have their role in the human life. But if you get stuck on them, you´re heading to the wrong. Or more like not-heading to the right. Then why would anyone get stuck on them then? Because behind every emotion there is a story. The story of the "I". The more important the story is to you, the more you attach yourself to it. The more you define yourself and your self-image to the story, the stronger the emotion.

I might be wrong, but this makes sense to me and feels close enough to the truth. The more you get the attached to the story and the emotion, focus your thoughts on it and start breathing it in your everyday life, the stronger its hold on you becomes. By seeing yourself through the stories of your past, you bring history on to your present time after time. You repeat yourself again and again, not letting yourself the change to be what you are or what you could be right now.

But you could really do that? Who would voluntarily take the free fall and give up on all the stories that made you who you are? Give up on all the emotions and any justifications behind them? It is a dangerous business to give up yourself. You would exist no longer. All your stories gone, for good...

That would makes such a good story, u know.