Ode to showering

There is one moment in my day, when I feel liberated and free. Guaranteed freedom! That is when I take a shower. When you think about, the process of washing yourself is as beautiful as it is humorous:

First you get naked
You take off your clothes that represent who you are, your culture and your status in your social environment. No statements whatsoever. You have to face your body - just the way it is. Are you comfortable within your body? Do you like it?

At this point I have point out that I come from Finland, and I´m used to having a sauna, naked, with family and friends. These days I have seen so many bodies that it is easy for me to accept my own, and luckily I´m in peace unlike many other people. For all of those, who are unable to be naked with others present, please, learn to connect with your body. Appreciate it just as it is. Be comfortable. Seeing how others are will help you stop worrying about your own.

Make up, fake up
As a woman and a representative of my culture, I wear make up and do my hair. In movies you see those morning after scenes where the woman is just perfect - in a way that she looks beautiful but you cannot really see the make up nor the amount of hair spray she´s really wearing. With these social standards the your real face will unavoidably smack you in the eyes when you let your hair free and wash away your double skin along with those beautiful long eyelashes. I mean, do I really want to parade my red nose and almost nonexistent light coloured eyebrows framed with thin and lazy hair? It may sound poetic and cute, but no, it is not. Reality can look like a horror movie, if you are lost in the double standards of beauty.

This is a question about acceptance. Very few people think they look exactly how they want, even fewer think that without having any work done first. For many people shower is the one and only place, where nobody sees you and you don´t have to care about how you look. The freedom!

Think about it: you lock yourself into a small room, being naked, and put yourself under some falling water. There you are, alone, with nothing to worry about. Isn´t that beautiful?

Wash-sh-sh-sh-sh...
Human skin really loves water. At least mine does. The feeling when all the dirt is being washed away is more than physical. We have an old saying in Finland that "water is the oldest of balsams". What it means is that water is the original and most effective way to take care of yourself both internally and externally.

I have a habit of standing under the hot pouring water for unreasonably long times. Physical wash is achieved quickly, but for me showering is always a mental process too. I let go of all the stress and worries I have picked up during the day. Metaphorically I go in with a full cup and come out with an empty one. It balances me emotionally. Of course you can take a quick wash with no noticeable effect on your mental state, but for me showering has become a sort of ritual. I let go of everything I do not wish to become part of me, and really, I don´t want anything external to become part of me. Water is my way to keep myself clean. It´s magic, really.

10 minutes of heaven
During a busy day, you don´t necessarily manage to justify spending time just for yourself because [add your own excuse here]. But in taking a shower, it all comes together easily and effortlessly. You always have the 10 minutes to shower, you automatically take off your roles (costumes) and you are alone with no one else to take into consideration (unless they are waiting in the line outside the room waiting to get in). It is the perfect place to wash everything you don´t want. It´s heaven on earth. It´s the modern catharsis.

Who wouldn´t love that? I`m a fan.

Burning bridges

It´s been some weeks now since the last post. During this time I have faced many internal struggles, but I have been quite unable to find words to describe them. I sometimes amuse myself by drawing online tarot cards, just to provoke some thoughts in me. And this morning this is what I got:

A fool

This card represents the idealist and the dreamer in you, who has decided to jump into the unknown and make her great dream come true without fear. The crazy has burned all the bridges behind her and the ghosts of the past cannot touch her. Faith and trust in the future drives away fear. You are now stepping into a limitless world, a whole new reality, and most of all - a new life.

This resonates in me very strongly. I have been pondering about all the limitations our minds create around us. It is such a pity, that mind has such abilities to draw conclusions that create such boundaries around us. But it is not easy to switch the side. It is much easier to run away into to no-mind and pretend you succeeded in the revolution destroying the old leader, than it is to peacefully and in full co-operation change the leader. Turbulence comes within the package of trying,  but success is rare.

It is a funny thing trying to live with things you (your mind) simply cannot understand. All the most important decisions in my life have been nothing but guided by a strong feeling of what is I need to do. And it takes courage to leave people and things behind you. I have understood now, that the ability to leave all the unnecessary is what defines a person. Not what they have or what they get. It is completely different experience to be parted from something than making an active choice to leave.

Rarely I have had such problems trying to follow where I am, but these past weeks have somehow slipped through my fingers. It is like when you try to keep some water or sand in your hand: when you pay attention to it and try to hold on to it, your fist clenches as a reflex and its all gone. Yes, the universe is a wondrous place - too bad we (our minds) can never fully understand it. At least that´s how it feels.